Selected Works of Alexandra Lopez Iglesias

I was living a most extraordinary situation under a most

fucked- up circumstance.

The constant chaos, rattle of automatic weapons, crippling fear

and the indiscriminate deterioration of our city kept me confined within my grandmother's house.

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Still, this confinement didn't suffocate, in this place of light and air. And within its walls, the most palpable example of love was unfolding before me.

 

I couldn't possible understand what I had walked into,

the privilege that it was or what it meant. 

I was terribly self-involved, empty, angry, disoriented, sad, cynical, constantly gasping for breath, eager to stop the 

discomfort that devoured me.

Yet, the power of what manifested inside percolated without asking permission, without my knowing.

 

Through a lifetime of actions consciously and meticulously rooted in love, Adelisa, now 91, had solidly woven a most spectacular approach to living that was embedded into a semi-tangible fabric that was being spun daily through the actions of her two middle daughters. Her legacy on display, powerful and of impact.

 

Outside the violence persisted; endlessly.

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Rampant killings, kidnappings, arson, stories too small to make it to print. No neighborhood was spared, no one was safe.  

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My inner turmoil almost as turbulent.

In a desperate attempt to survive my own mindI took risks that I couldn't pause to consider.

Every day without fail, I would venture across the border to the empty house where I kept "my stash". I would light up, escape, unable to stop, not wanting to stop, believing that this was freedom.

 

On my way back, before the sun set, as I crossed into Juarez, I would repeat over and over, make me invisible, make me invisible, make me invisible.

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